No, but no, but yeah

On a Library Thing discussion board some people were waxing lyrical about the book Kristin Lavransdatter by Sigrid Undset. Lazy cow that I am, I decided to see if my local library had the audio book version, and was delighted to see that (bonus!) they actually had a film version. It was filmed in 1995 and directed by Liv Ullmann. The work is a trilogy that spans more than 1000 pages, but I believe the movie only covers the first book. The story is set in 14th century Norway, and describes Kristin's decision to go against her father's wishes and marry a man she loves (who is in disgrace because he already has a mistress and children) instead of the man her father has chosen for her.

In the beginning of the story, we find that although she loved a childhood friend, her father had promised her in marriage to another man. The childhood friend went off to be a soldier and was killed. Heartbroken, Kristin retreats to a nunnery for a year to grieve and avoid the arranged marriage. While in the nunnery, she is sent out to buy provisions and immediately falls in love with a man she sees in town. Who knew a nunnery was the happening place to meet men?

Many secret trysts and intense fumblings follow the initial meeting. It seems rather odd that Kristin, resident in the presumably cloistered and monitored nunnery, has no problem sneaking out at all hours for clandestine meetings with the lover. Eventually, it all comes out, and Kristin, ahead of her time, stomps her foot like a modern, petulant teenager and announces she will too marry the man she loves, no matter what her parents say.

Lots of arguing, mournful looks and wringing of hands follows. Here's the strange part: her father is adamant that she will not marry the older-already-has-a-woman-guy. Then, one night there is a big thunderstorm and the local church is struck by lightening and burns to the ground. In the very next instant, Kristin and older-already-has-a-woman-guy are standing in the burned out church, with family looking on, getting married. Honestly, here is the sequence of events:

1. Over my dead body will you marry him

2. Church fire

3. Wedding

There is no explanation at all for how we got from 1 to 3. This is a somewhat long and slow film, so you'd think they could have added an extra 30 seconds or so for an explanation, but no go.

Final Verdict for Kristin Lavransdatter the film: One Gherkin, for being very slow, not to mention totally illogical

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She lived in London, doesn't that count?

OK, so she's not British, but Irish author Marian Keyes lived in London for many years, so that's close enough for me. Just now I'm distressingly low on audio books from the library, so I had to dig out one of my own for a re-listen. I'm currently enjoying Marian's Under the Duvet: Shoes, Reviews, Having the Blues, Builders, Babies, Families and Other Calamities. This is not a novel, but a collection of previously published articles that appeared in various magazines and newspapers, as well as some new material. The articles are mostly hilarious, and deal with such things as her love of shoes (even though, like me, she has ridiculously small feet and can almost never find any that fit), buying and remodeling a house, and learning to drive. She reads the audio book herself, and gives the stories hilarious inflections and accents that greatly add to the enjoyment of the book. Her family members are make frequent appearances in her stories, especially her husband, AKA "himself." My favorite part (aside from the numerous funny bits), are the appealing Irish turns of phrase that pop up regularly. At one point, she discusses talking with another Irish expat in London, and being glad not to have to explain the meaning of such phrases as "ride me sideways." Well, because she doesn't have to explain it to the other Irish person, no explanations are given, but it does make for amusing speculation!

Another true life story that I'm currently enjoying is the book Ambulance Girl: How I Saved Myself By Becoming an EMT by Jane Stern. Stern is a well-known food journalist who reports regularly for NPR with her husband Michael. At the age of 52, she was overtaken by a severe form of depression. A not leaving the house, watching Jerry Springer all day, not ever getting dressed type of depression. Seemingly on a whim, she stops in to apply when volunteer EMTs are needed at the local fire station. At first, because of her age and overall poor physical condition, she is not exactly welcomed with open arms. However, she joins the training class and quickly discovers that if she can keep her latte down during the more graphic and bloody slide shows, she has a true interest in the subject. So far, I am really enjoying the story. It's quite amazing to read about how a woman who was so depressed and anxiety-ridden decided to volunteer for what must surely be one of the most stressful occupations on earth. On the other hand, after dealing daily with people who have severed limbs, brains leaking out of their skulls, and "feces that look like coffee grounds", I suppose your own problems don't seem so bad. Right now she is still in the training class, but I'm anxious to find out what happens when she goes on her first call!

Final Verdict for Under the Duvet: Four Gherkins, for occasional London references and many, many hilarious situations!

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Whittling down my library list

Although my local public library has thankfully decided to reintroduce sanity to their circulation policies and allow 3-week checkout periods, until recently a book could only be checked out for 2 weeks. The book could be renewed two times, but this wouldn't work if there was a hold on the item (which there generally was, especially when I was in need of a renewal in the worst way).

That means, lazy reader that I sometimes am, that I had to bring home books from the library and (gasp) immediately start reading them, instead of leaving them in a stack by the bed to "ripen" for a while. Here are the recent materials I've rushed through:

Case Histories by Kate Atkinson. How many case histories can I keep up with? The answer, sadly, is not very many! This book concerns mainly "lost" girls -- girls who were murdered, abducted, given away, etc. The story mainly takes place in modern day Cambridge, but there were lots of flashbacks to other towns and events, as detective Jackson Brodie attempts to solve several of the mysteries and bring closure to grieving relatives. In the meantime, he reveals his own family tragedy. I listened to the audio version of this novel, and the shifting back and forth in time, along with numerous characters, at times made it difficult to follow (well, probably not if you were concentrating, but I apparently wasn't -- not all the time anyway). This was one of the few audio books that I really wished I'd had the book for, to flip back and review when I became confused. When the narrator said something like, "And then David said, . . ." I would think, "Who was David again?" This audio book definitely requires a lot of concentration to keep all the people and situations straight. I didn't think everything was sufficiently cleared up at the end, but then again, maybe I just wasn't paying close enough attention.

Me of Little Faith by Lewis Black. I adore Lewis Black. I was introduced to him on XM Satellite Radio's Comedy Channel. His sputtering indignation at the absurdities of modern life always left me in stitches. So what could go wrong with reading a book he'd written? Well, plenty. For some reason, his style of communication falls flat on the written page. What is screamingly hilarious to hear him say, provokes no laughter when read. It's just dull. This book was supposed to be about his encounters with religion, from his own experiences as a non-observant Jew to commentaries on other religions. There are some humorous parts, sure, but this is one that would absolutely benefit by having the audio book read by the author. I forced myself to finish it, although the last part of the book includes the text of a play that he co-wrote and starred in many years ago. I did not find it hilarious. I hope he sticks to the stand-up from now on.

Free For All: Oddballs, Geeks, and Gangstas in the Public Library by Don Borchert. Since I work in a library, I was very interested to read about another librarian's day to day life. After reading this book, I went to my library, fell to the ground, kissed the slightly grubby carpeting, and wept with joy that I don't work in a PUBLIC library. Mr. Borchert is a "Library Assistant" (we are reminded numerous times that he "doesn't have his degree") at a public library branch in Los Angeles. I was horrified to read about the trials and tribulations of the library staff: disgusting items left in the book drop, dozens of children dropped off for hours every day to take advantage of the "free day care" offered by the library, and calling the police an average of 3 times per day. Really, the people that work there deserve medals for going waaaaaaayyyy above and beyond the call of duty.

Final Verdict for Case Histories: Two Gherkins, for requiring more concentration than I was willing to give!

Final Verdict for Me of Little Faith: One Gherkin, for being an unfunny book by a comedian

Final Verdict for Free for All: Two Gherkins, for being a true account of the thankless job of working in an urban public library, but I have to subtract some Gherkins because the author has a bit of a potty-mouth (which I probably would too, working in that environment!)

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Haven't these people heard of target practice?

I had tickets for another "sneak preview" movie last night. This time it was The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. I hadn't seen any of the films in the Mummy franchise, so I came into it without any preconceived notions. Let's see if I can get this right. The mummy-hunting couple, played by Brendan Fraser and Maria Bello, have retired to the English countryside. Their son is on an archaeological dig in China, and uncovers the tomb of an emperor which is brought unopened to a museum. In the meantime, mom & dad are pressed by the British government to return some bauble-thingy to the Chinese government "as a gesture of good faith" (?). Of course, when they arrive at the museum with the bauble-thingy, it turns out to be just the thing needed to release the cursed emperor from his tomb and bring him back to life (sort of). There are some sinister Chinese soldiers who want the emperor brought back to life so he can enslave the world, so they want the aforementioned bauble-thingy. Lots of fighting and gunfire ensues. Now, here's the thing: you've got SOLDIERS, for heaven's sake, plus mom & pop mummy-hunter-secret-agent-types -- and no one can manage to hit anyone else with the 10,000 or so shots they collectively fire. I would spend less time hunting mummies and trying to raise dead emperors, and a little more on target practice if it were me. You would think that would be obvious, wouldn't you?

So anyway, the bauble-thingy is employed and the emperor comes back to life, but he's still kinda encased in stone and not overly mobile. Turns out there's more stuff he has to do to become his fully-realized evil self. Of course, mom & dad and son mummy hunters, along with obligatory cute-but-mysterious Chinese girlfriend have to stop this from happening. Lots of perilous airplane rides, avalanches, Yeti interventions and sword fighting happens before we get to the conclusion.

The scenery is lovely, and the story is fairly easy to follow, even for a Mummy novice like myself. My only problem was the utterly predictable and overly sentimental characters. I really didn't like any of them, so I was actually hoping this emperor guy might get something evil going, but no dice. Oh well, I do love the "sneak previews", and I must admit, they are exposing me to all sorts of movies I wouldn't otherwise see.

Final Verdict for The Mummy: Two Gherkins, for some English scenery, and an eventful few hours

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Get on board

The second season of Big Train was a vast improvement over the first one, mainly in terms of navigation on the DVD. At least this DVD had actual menus and let you move between episodes and scenes. There was also a refreshing lack of mandatory commercials at the beginning.

The second season of the series features Tracy-Ann Oberman, Chrissie-that-was-on Eastenders. I actually enjoyed the second season more than the first. There didn't seem to be as many absurd sketches in the second season, and the overall time for each sketch seemed more reasonable. Some of the painfully unfunny sketches went on and on during the first season. There were plenty of laughs in both, though, and lots of wacky characters!

Final Verdict for Big Train: Two Gherkins, for some funny moments and recognizable faces!

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The Robinsons

Poor Ed Robinson. No matter what he does, misfortune and disaster follow in the comedy series The Robinsons. When his girlfriend is promoted and becomes his boss, Ed loses both the relationship and his job in marine reinsurance. He flounders about, trying to move on, but forever feeling he can't measure up to the success of his siblings. Brother George is a time management consultant, and sister Vicky works in interior design. Both of them are overbearing, unpleasant people with little time or sympathy for others. George is married to Maggie, the most "normal" person in the family, but otherwise is friendless and socially inept. Vicky can't stay in a relationship, mainly due to her hostile and hyper-critical personality.

The parents, played by Richard Johnson and the wonderful Anna Massey, criticize each other constantly and are blamed by Ed for all his failures. The series features some unusual aspects, such as Ed pointing out how traits of his can be traced to various Robinson ancestors throughout history.

The show only lasted one season, but ended on something of a cliff-hanger. The writers obviously thought the show would continue. It had some amusing points, but the characters were, for the most part, so unlikeable that there was really no sympathy for anyone.
Final Verdict for The Robinsons: Two Gherkins, for some unusual storytelling techniques, but overall unpleasant cast of characters

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Fingersmith

I was listening to the HUGE audio book of Fingersmith when I found out there had been a film made of the story. I was able to get it rather quickly from Netflix, and watched it recently. The film followed the story very well. There was an interesting view of St. Paul's as the film began.

The story takes place in 1860s London and concerns a group of fingersmiths (or thieves). One of the group comes up with a plan to defraud an heiress of her fortune by planting one of the thieves in her household as a maid.
After Sue Trinder (the thief) is installed in the home of Maud Lilly (the heiress), the two develop a romantic relationship. The their "love scenes" are a bit drawn out, but the story has enough twists and turns to make it interesting.

Because the audio book went on for far too long (in my opinion), I preferred the film version.

Final Verdict for Fingersmith : Three Gherkins, for an overall Dickensian feel

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Dueling ferris wheels

Since 2000, the London Eye has dominated the London skyline. Now it's getting some competition from the smaller, but no less impressive Greenwich Wheel.

Gorgeous! It looks like it would give spectacular views over Greenwich and the river. Unfortunately, it is projected to only be open over the summer, and to close at the end of September. Which means I won't get to ride it! Hopefully, like the "temporary" London Eye, this will prove very popular and will become a more or less permanent feature.

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Book contest

I've signed up over at Book Room Reviews to win a set of 14 great summer books. They are giving away at least 5 of these sets of books, so there will be lots of very happy readers this summer! Check it out over at:

The books in the giveaway include The Monster of Florence (Douglas Preston); Barefoot (Elin Hilderbrand); The Preacher and the Presidents (Nancy Gibbs & Michael Duffy); Made in the U.S.A. (Billie Letts); Swine Not? (Jimmy Buffett & Helen Bransford); Off Season (Anne Siddons); Miscarriage of Justice ("Kip" Gayden); A Rose by the Door (Deborah Bedford); Remember Me (Deborah Bedford); Trespassers Will Be Baptized (Elizabeth Hancock); He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (Trish Ryan); Child 44 (Tom Smith); A Summer Affair (Elin Hilderbrand); and Close (Martina Cole).

The contest is still going on, so go enter! I'm going to win, of course, but they're giving away multiple prizes, so there is a chance for others, as well!

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Ripper Conference

I was eating breakfast this morning and reading the newspaper, when a sentence caught my eye: "the couple . . . are organizing this year's U.S. Jack the Ripper Conference in October to be held here in Knoxville." Say what??? Not only is there a Jack the Ripper Conference, but it's going to be held just down the street from me this year??? Goodness, how exciting!

One of the scheduled speakers for the conference is the author Martin Fido, author of the excellent Crimes, Detection and Death of Jack the Ripper and Jack the Ripper A to Z. Of course, I signed up right away. It will be interesting to hear what the experts have to say, and to speak with other "Ripperologists." Undoubtedly, he main factor which makes the Jack the Ripper case so intriguing is that it was never solved.

In my opinion, one of the most shocking crimes in the U.S. has to have been the murders of Frank Lloyd Wright's mistress Mamah Cheney, her children and four others. This story is told in the book Loving Frank. One day in 1914, while Wright was away, a servant set fire to the house and attacked people with an ax as they tried to flee. The killer was immediately caught, tried and executed. I happened upon a reference to this one day while reading something about Wright, and I was surprised that I hadn't heard of the case before. Not only was it sensational and horribly violent, but Wright was and remains a well-known figure. In celebrity-obsessed America, the more scandalous and disturbing an individual's life is, the more we love him or her.

I think the main reason that this case isn't well-known (as opposed to the Jack the Ripper story), is that there was no mystery involved -- the guilty party was caught immediately and made to pay for his crimes. His motive even turned out to be quite simple: he was crazy as a loon.

While we will probably never know what motivated Jack the Ripper, speculating and pouring over the evidence will keep Ripperologists entertained for many years to come.

Final Verdict for Jack the Ripper A to Z and Crimes, Detection and Death of Jack the Ripper: Four Gherkins for being well-researched, comprehensive accounts of the case

Final Verdict for Loving Frank: Three Gherkins for being an interesting treatment of an all but forgotten incident

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Catching up with Netflix

I have tons of British series just now in my Netflix queue, but sometimes my husband will go in and move something he wants to see to the top (the nerve!). This weekend we watched one of his selections, The Bank Job. Now, I must have been living under a rock, because I don't remember hearing anything about this film. So I asked him, "What's it about?" He started reading off the overview on the little sleeve the disk came in, and he said the two magic words: "London" and "Jason Statham" (well, technically, that's three words, but two concepts -- so I'll count it as two words). I was anxious to see any sightings of London, but the film was set in 1971, so aside from some shots of various underground stations (with the old style gray trains) and Paddington Station, there wasn't really much to show the film was actually set in London. I guess the city has changed so much since 1971 that there really wasn't anywhere to film that would be realistic.

The movie had a lot of plot twists that made it somewhat hard to follow. A high-profile black activist was arrested on some charge (I forget what now), but the government refused to prosecute him because he was holding some naughty photos showing a member of the royal family. The MI5 or 6 (or maybe both, it was difficult to tell -- and what's the dif, anyway?) hatched a plot to steal the photos from the bank safe deposit box where they were being held. A model attempting to enter the country with drugs was detained and given the opportunity to have her charges dropped if she could arrange the robbery of the bank vault. She gets together a gang of small-time criminals to rob the vault, but doesn't reveal the true motive (to get the royal nasties) behind the robbery to the gang of thieves.

So the gang successfully robs the vault and makes off with millions in jewels and cash. However, numerous bad guys and gals had stashed THEIR blackmailing materials in the safe deposit boxes as well, so those people immediately became involved in trying to track down the people responsible for the robbery.

So you have: the robbers after cash (so they think), various and sundry blackmailers wanting their documentation back, government agencies wanting the whole thing solved and swept under the rug, corrupt police trying to protect themselves from exposure, and honest police (greatly outnumbered) trying to solve the whole thing. It was very confusing as to who was after what and why, and there was a lot of beating and killing going on.

Well, on the bright side, Jason Statham did look as gorgeous as ever, and this was, I suppose, one of his "typical" roles. Fans of his will not be disappointed!

Final Verdict for The Bank Job: Two Gherkins, for London atmosphere (if not scenery) and Jason Statham!

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Mamma Mia, part 2

Ha! Today's Knoxville News-Sentinel carried a review of the new film Mamma Mia, which I discussed here a few days ago. The newspaper article was accompanied by a still from the film:

My, my, what have we here? The actress Amanda Seyfried in mid-flap (see here for my anti-flap rant). Did I lie? I think not . . . if only the film had been made somewhere cold, like Greenland, perhaps. She could have worn an outfit with weighted sleeves that might have curtailed at least some of the flapping. As it is, I guess the audience will just have to grimace and bear it.

Then again, I really shouldn't have been surprised that this photo accompanied the review of the movie. It would have been hard to get a photo from the film when she wasn't waving her arms around and jumping up and down.

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